


Think I love you better now

by artsyleo



Series: Lego House [2]
Category: EastEnders (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Homophobic Language, Hurt/Comfort, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Panic Attacks, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-09
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:01:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24096256
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsyleo/pseuds/artsyleo
Summary: Everything's going great. Its been a few months now since Noah's birth mother returned, and things had finally started to settle again.Which is when Callum gets called out at the end of his shift, to something all too familiar.
Relationships: Callum "Halfway" Highway/Ben Mitchell
Series: Lego House [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1738483
Comments: 8
Kudos: 31





	Think I love you better now

**Author's Note:**

> trigger warning - please be aware that this fic has a general theme of homophobia, and homophobic violence, including a non-graphic scene of violence (I marked this out with * if you would like to skip it), and a description of a panic attack near the beginning of the fic- please don't read if any of this could be triggering.

Even getting the call through had made his heart race. It had been a long shift, no big incidents yet, and they’d almost gotten back to Walford General before they were diverted. Tony, his partner, was driving tonight, which at this point was a stroke of luck. He and Tony had been working partners since Callum had gone out on his first call- he was a quiet old man, with greying hair and a wisp of a moustache, who enjoyed nothing more than filling their silent drives by talking about his cats. Callum didn’t really mind- he was sweet enough, and didn’t say anything untoward when Callum mentioned that he had a husband, or an adopted teenager. They’d both let out a disappointed sigh when the last call had come through, hoping beyond hope for a slightly shortened shift. When the call came through, however, there was no way Callum could bear to turn away, even if he’d had the choice.

“Control to 3006, two teenagers attacked on London road, one unconscious, one with breathing difficulties,” the handler had explained through the speaker. Callum’s blood ran cold when it came through- Noah and Will had gone out tonight, around London road. What if-

“Callum? You alright mate?” Tony said, looking worriedly over at Callum from his peripheral vision. Sirens now blared through the glass windows of the ambulance. He looked down at his own lap, recognising that his hands were now shaking, palms sweaty.

“Y-yeah, just- the call. My kid-“

“You know as well as I do that there are thousands of kids around London road at night. Let’s just get there and clean it up, look after these kids, yeah? Get you back to yours,” Tony said calmly, offering Callum a small smile. Callum nodded, trying to allow Tony’s words to wash over him.

-

When they got there, it felt like Callum’s stomach dropped out of his body, leaving him breathless.

Because as much as Tony’s words rang with truth, Callum had been valid in his worries- because there, a little way up the alley, Will was laid unconscious across the street, with Noah crouched against the wall, head in his hands. 

“Shit!” Callum shouted, grabbing the med bag from the back of the ambulance. “Shit, shit, shit! Tony, it’s him, Tony-“

“Which one?” Tony said calmly, watching as Callum pointed towards Noah. “I’ll get the other one, go take care of him.”

Callum nodded shakily, before running towards Noah. Another woman in the alley, presumably the one who called the ambulance, started to come up to him, but he ran straight past.

“Noah? Buddy, it’s me, it’s Callum. Can you hear me?” Callum said desperately. He fell down next to him, but Noah screamed, backing himself into the wall further, forcing himself backwards.

“No! N-no- no pl-please,” Noah shouted, sobs wrenching from his throat. It broke Callum’s heart, hearing Noah cry like that- yet he took a deep breath, trying desperately to calm his racing heart. He couldn’t let himself freak out about this until later- he just had to help Noah right now.

“Buddy, it’s just me, it’s Callum, you’re safe now I promise. Whatever it is you’re seeing, I promise you, you ain’t there any more, okay?” Callum said, itching to touch him. “Can you look at me? I just need to see if you’re hurt.”

“Please-please don’t make me, please,” Noah cried, his hands pulling at his hair. Callum could just about make out blood on his knuckles, catching in his hair.

“Hey, buddy. Listen to me, okay? I know you’re really scared, but can you just look at me, please? I just need to have a look at your face,” Callum pleaded.

Hesitantly, Noah raised his head, letting his arms fall to wrap tightly around his knees, and Callum couldn’t help but let out a gasp. Noah’s bottom lip was busted, blood already crusting on it. There was a huge graze across his left cheekbone, and his eye had already begun to bruise. Blood from his noes dripped over his mouth.

“Hey, well done, you’re doing so well. Can you just take some deep breaths for me, in and out, just like we practiced?” Callum said, fake-calm falling over his voice. He pulled a pair of gloves from the bag next to him, the calm of going through the motions helping to stave off the panic in his heart.

“D-dad? Callum?” Noah gasped, his breaths still heaving. Usually, a shot of pride went through him at Noah calling him ‘dad’, but now, with Noah almost sobbing it-

“Yeah, buddy, it’s me. You’re doing really well. Can I take your hand?” A tentative nod. “Alright, thank you. Now just try and take some breaths with me, yeah?” Callum said, bringing Noah’s hand to his chest, over his own heart. They sat like that for a few minutes, Callum carefully scanning Noah for injuries, until Tony called out from across the alley.

“Callum? Could do with getting moving. He’s stable but we need to get him over. You good over there?” Tony said. Callum envied how calm he sounded.

“Getting there,” he replied, before turning back to Noah, whose eyes were now trained on Will.

“W-will, I need to- I need him-“ Noah said, pulling himself off the ground before he keeled over with a groan, holding his ribs.

“Noah, you need to sit, alright? We’re going to take care of him, I promise you, but you need to let me take care of you-“

“No! Ca-Callum, please, I have to-“

“Okay, Noah, listen to me,” Callum said, a hand gently on Noah’s chin to turn is eyes towards him. “What we’ve got to do is just get him on the ambulance now, okay? And then we can get you both over to the hospital, and it’s all going to be okay.”

Noah nodded, tears still dripping down his cheeks.

“Okay, well done, buddy. You lean on me, and let’s get you to the ambulance so I can help with Will, okay?” Callum said, his heart still racing against his chest.

-

It was around ten minutes after when they finally got moving in the ambulance. Tony had offered to drive without another word, offering Callum a comforting pat on the back as he passed. Will was unconscious, strapped to the stretcher on one side of the ambulance with Noah sat on the other, holding his hand tight. Callum knew that, really, protocol would say that they should have called for another ambulance for Noah, that he shouldn’t really be sat up without Callum knowing what kind of condition he wa in, but he knew it was fruitless. There was no way Callum could leave Noah with strangers right now, especially with his still-too-fast breathing, and he wouldn’t even bother trying to get Noah to part with Will. Instead, he sat himself on Noah’s other side, calling to Tony that they were ready to go. When he turned back, he finally got a good look at Will.

Tony hadn’t said much, just that the kid was in a bad way but he was stable, and that they needed to get him to the hospital as soon as they could. Now, though, staring down at the boy’s pale face, Callum tried not to let the concern overtake him. He looked too pale- bruises covered one side of his face entirely, with one eye swelled shut and his lip bust, blood already crusting on his chin. Tony had put some sort of splint on his left arm, which wasn’t exactly promising. Neither was the bloodstain on his chest.

Callum drew his attention back to Noah then, who was still breathing in pants. His face somehow looked worse under the fluorescent lighting of the ambulance, more gaunt and terrified, the blood standing out against pale skin. His eyes were unmoving and slightly glossed over, trained on Will’s face.

“Noah? Can you hear me?” Callum said carefully, in an attempt to determine quite how bad Noah was.

“There- there were so many of them- four, I think. I-I just… turned around and they were there, in my face, shouting all this shit-“

“Noah, listen to me. Just try and take some deep breaths, I don’t want you to hurt yourself,” Callum said gently. So much of him wanted Noah to carry on, say exactly who had hurt him- but, really, what could Callum do? “I know you’re scared, but you’re safe now, I promise you-”

“It’s because I was holding his hand,” Noah cried. “It’s be-because we were holding hands.”

Callum’s blood ran cold. It had crossed his mind, of course- as a paramedic in London, this wouldn’t be the first time he ‘d been called to a hate crime, and every single one hit him just as hard- he’d so desperately wished his fears were unfounded. He heard stories all the time- fuck, he’d heard enough of Ben’s experiences to last him a lifetime, but surely him and Ben had been put through enough, surely Noah himself had been put through enough in his life to not have to deal with this shit. Yet- it had happened, regardless. It had happened to his son.

Before Callum could respond, Will’s hand twitched in Noah’s, and all of his attention was focused on the boy in the stretcher. Callum stood up from his seat- this, he knew how to do. He was a paramedic- he could help here.

“Will? Can you hear me? Try not to move too much,” Callum said as Will’s eyelids flickered open, his eyebrows scrunching up, obviously confused for a minute. “Hey, mate. Do you know where you are?”

“Noah-“ Will said instead, his voice hoarse.

“I’m here, I’m okay,” Noah said, pushing into Will’s line of sight. Fresh tears tracked down his cheeks. “I’m so sorry- I’m sorry. It’s all my fault. I’m sorry-“

“No,” he said firmly. “None of this is your fault. Breathe, alright?”

Noah didn’t seem to accept Will’s words but closed his mouth nonetheless, breathing deeply through his nose. His hand was still clutched firmly in Will’s, but Will’s eyes flickered back up to Callum.

“Ambulance, right?” he said, trying for a smile which just ended up as more of a grimace.

“Yeah, that’s good,” Callum replied, going through the motions. It calmed him somewhat- this was familiar territory, something that he knew how to deal with. He treated patients every day, it was his job. “Can you see and hear everything alright? No blurred vision?”

“No, no, clear as day. Lights are giving me a migraine though,” Will said, squinting slightly.

“Yeah, sorry about that. We should be almost at the hospital though, then we can get you both checked out properly, yeah?” Callum replied. Will just blinked a few times and smiled in silent thanks.

-

Once they got into the hospital, it was chaos. Tony had told Callum that he’d finish up the shift and clean up the ambulance so that he could be with Noah, which Callum couldn’t be more grateful for. Callum trailed Tony and Will into the hospital, with Noah on his side, while Tony explained Will’s injuries to the nurses. Once they arrived at resus, Will was handed over to the doctors, and Callum ushered Noah into the bed next to him. Noah didn’t take his eyes off of Will for a minute, while Callum explained Noah’s possible injuries to the other doctor.

“I need to be with him- I have to be there, Callum, I have to-“ Noah said, attempting to push off the bed.

“Hey, buddy, listen to me,” Callum said, moving to force his face into Noah’s line of sight. “They’re doing the best they can, but you have to let them look after you too, okay? I promise you, Will is gonna be okay.”

Hesitantly, Noah nodded, shifting back onto the bed.

“Thanks, Callum,” the doctor said. “You can go now if you want. Your shift must be up.”

“No-please,” Callum said, desperation beginning to leak into his voice, now he didn’t have to be a paramedic any more. “I want to stay. Noah- he’s my son.”

The doctor, David, nodded sympathetically. He’d been one of the doctors that he’d befriended early on in his career. He was a quiet man, but he was kind, and he was good at his job.

“Okay. Is there anyone else you need to call?” he asked.

Callum’s mind shot instantly to just one name- Ben.

“My- my husband- I have to call him,” Callum said, reaching the phone from his pocket. As soon as he started to move away from the bed, though, Noah called out.

“No- no! Where are you going?” Noah said, panic clear in his voice.

“Buddy, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I just need to call Ben, I’ll be right over here,” Callum said. Urgency thrummed through his veins at the thought of Ben’s voice- he was already staving off barely controlled panic- he needed Ben next to him. He stood to the side of the ward, still in Noah’s line of sight but far enough away that he wouldn’t disturb anyone.

The other man picked up on the first call.

“Good evening, mister! You finished your shift yet-“

“Something happened,” Callum blurted out. “I- I need you, Ben. You’ve got to come to the hospital. Something happened.”

-

It turned out explaining it to Ben was almost as bad as arriving at the scene. Ben had arrived at the hospital a little after cutting off the call, racing into the department, his eyes panicked and searching. Callum greeted him at the entrance of resus, pulling him straight into a hug. The minute he had Ben’s arms wrapped around him, Callum just broke. All of the tears, all of the panic that he’d held in over the last hour burst out like a river bursting it’s banks, tears soaking into the fabric of Ben’s jacket. Ben didn’t say anything for a while, just buried his hands in Callum’s hair. When Callum felt the tell tale wetness of Ben’s tears soaking into his own shoulder, he didn’t say anything.

After a minute, when they’d both had the chance to compose themselves, David came back through the doors of resus, clearing his throat to announce his arrival. Callum quickly pulled out of Ben’s arms, but laced their fingers together, needing the contact just to keep him sane right now. David didn’t even flinch when he saw the mess that his colleague had gotten himself in- Callum supposed years of working in resus had toughened him against most things.

“Noah’s okay. It’s mostly superficial, cuts and bruising to the face and arms. I’m ordering an X-ray now as a precaution, but I suspect he has a few bruised ribs, maybe a fracture,” he said, Callum couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief at that, and felt Ben do the same. “He seems quite distressed, though. You can both go and see him now.”

Callum nodded his thanks to David, his throat too tight for words right now, and moved past him into the resus bay. Noah was still sat in the same bed, now hooked up to a monitor, but his eyes were still trained on Will. The doctors surrounding the other boy were a lot less frantic now, suggesting that he was stable- the steady beat of his heart monitor a comforting sound in the chaos of the room.

“I’m going to try and talk to the doctors, see what’s going on with Will,” Callum whispered, his voice hoarse. Ben nodded, giving his hand a squeeze, the let him go to move towards Noah.

As soon as he walked up to the bed, one of the other doctors (Louise, a smart woman with a bright smile and even brighter personality- something that didn’t seem all that suited to a place that dealt with fatality on an almost daily basis) smiled sympathetically at him.

“You brought him in, right?” she said.

“Y-yeah,” Callum said. “How’s he doing?”

“Lousie sighed. “He’s stable. I can’t tell anyone but family anything more, but he’s going to be okay with plenty of time and rest. You don’t know anything about his next of kin, do you?”

“He’s in care, I don’t- I know the number of the centre but I don’t know anything else, I’m sorry,” Callum replied with a sigh.

“Don’t worry, it’s probably on record. How do you know him?”

“He’s- he’s my son’s boyfriend,” Callum said, looking towards Noah. He’d pushed himself against Ben’s chest, and his head was tucked under Ben’s chin in a position that felt all too familiar. When he turned back, Louise was looking at him with a sympathetic smile.

“I’ll call the care centre, and I’ll let you know whatever I can when possible, okay?” Callum nodded, smiling slightly. Just as he turned around, Louise grabbed his arm.

“Callum- you’re doing great.”

-

The next hour or so flashed by in a blur of chaos. Claire arrived about half an hour in, gaining all the updates she could about Will and then passing them on to Noah, who visibly relaxed slightly when Claire told him that Will would be okay. The doctors later moved Will to another ward, which sent Noah into another panic- Will was now unconscious again, and the doctors wouldn’t let Noah see him until later. Anger visibly prickled through Ben at that, but Callum lay a calming hand on his husband’s arm- Ben kicking off, however understandable given the circumstances, wouldn’t help the situation at all. Once they’d calmed Noah down, David had returned to take Noah for his scan. Him and Ben had followed close behind, but had been told to wait in the uncomfortable plastic chairs outside of the room. As soon as Noah was out of sight, Ben leaned against the wall, his head down and eyes closed. Callum noticed his fists were clenched tightly, his knuckles white. He rested his hand against the top of Ben’s back, who flinched at the contact.

“Ben-“

“I can’t lose him too. I just- I can’t lose him too,” Ben muttered, just loud enough for Callum to hear him. Callum opened his mouth to ask what he meant by too, but-

Shit- Paul.

“Ben, the doctor said he’s going to be fine, alight? The scan is just a precaution-“

“He’s not though, is he? This isn’t gonna just be fine, it’s not the kind of thing that he can just ignore- trust me, I should know,” Ben said, his voice fierce. He sighed then, pushing off the wall to turn and face Callum, opening his eyes. Tears already stained his cheeks, but new ones were building in his blue eyes.

“I’m sorry, I just- memories,” Ben said, collapsing against Callum’s chest. Callum wrapped his arms tightly around Ben, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

“I know, I get it. It’s okay,” he replied.

“I just- it’s not even just him. Like- what if something happens to Will? Paul- everything that happened with him tore me apart for years. I became this- person I hated. I was so angry, all the time. Just wishing that I could go back to that night, change everything that happened. I never want Noah to have to be like that, but I just can’t stop thinking…”

“I understand. But- whatever happens, he’s got us, that’s the difference here. Willis stable and recovering, Noah’s going to be okay with plenty of rest, and we are going to be there to support the both of them through everything, yeah?” Callum replied softly. It chilled him, listening to ben talk about what had happened with Paul, but he at least knew what it felt like to lose the guy you loved.

“He’s our son,” Ben muttered into Callum’s chest. “How could they do that to our son?”

For once, Callum didn’t have an answer.

-

Noah’s results eventually came back clear, which was a relief, but that relief was short-lived when two police officers walked onto the ward where Noah currently lay.

“Noah Highway-Mitchell?” One, a shorter woman with blonde hair and thick glasses, said carefully when she reached the bed. Noah nodded at the woman, his hands shaking.

“If you’re ready, we’d like to take your statement about what happened tonight,” the woman said.

“Hang on, he’s just been given the clear, don’t you think you should give him a chance to breathe before you start with the questioning?” Ben said, prickling. Despite the fact that he hadn’t been a ‘Mitchell’ in years now, the police still rubbed him up the wrong way- it didn’t help that the woman said the name with clear distaste.

“Sir, the sooner we can get information, the clearer it’s likely to be. It could help with the investigation,” the woman’s partner said, his voice evidently softer. He was taller, more well-built, with greying hair.

“Particularly in alleged hate crime cases such as this one,” the woman added.

“Alleged?” Noah spoke up for the first time, looking directly at the officer.

“Sir, until you give us any proof-“

“Alleged?” Noah repeated, anger burning through his tone, fury in his eyes. “There was nothing alleged about the fact that those guys were screaming slurs while they beat the shit out of us!”

The two officers were silent after that, and the elder turned to give the other a disapproving look. She seemed to shrink away a little at that. He wouldn’t admit it, but Ben felt just a little pride run through him at that. Callum, ever the mediator, stepped forward.

“It’s okay, Noah. We can do this whenever you’re ready, alright? No pressure,” Callum said, giving Noah a reassuring smile. The anger seemed t burn away from him slightly, but when he turned back to the officers, there was still a look of defiance in his eyes.

“The sooner I do this, the sooner it’s over, right?”

-

*see trigger warning*

“Well, that was- interesting.”

“That film was shit, Will. There’s no point denying it,” Noah said with a laugh. His hand felt so warm and right held in Will’s as they wandered the streets in search of a bus stop. Rain was just starting to patter from a dark sky, and neither of them had been sensible enough to bring a coat despite Callum’s warnings before he left on his shift for the night.

“Well, I didn’t like to say since it was your choice, but…” Will grinned. Noah gave a mock gasp, shoving him playfully. It wasn’t until he felt an impact from behind that he realised they weren’t alone. As the person shoved past him, he muttered in Noah’s ear- a word that sent shivers down his spine.

“Hey!” Noah called as the man egan to walk away. Noah noticed then that he wasn’t alone- three other guys stood beside him, all glaring on at the scene. “You want to say that to my face?”

“What, you deaf?” the other man said. “Why don’t you take yourself and your f*ggot boyfriend elsewhere, alright? I don’t want to see your kind round here.”

Will visibly flinched at the words, but muttered to Noah. “Just leave it, N. Let’s just get home.”

Noah squeezed his boyfriend’s hand in response, and swallowed his anger. The two of them pushed forward towards the bus stop.

“Aw, you running scared, you pussy?” one of the guys said.

“Yeah, too gay to fight, anyways,” another laughed.

Noah whirled around on the spot. “Oh, you think you’re a big man do you? You like picking fights with boys in the dark? It’s all just talk, mate. You ain’t got the bottle.”

The first punch landed on his face, and everything went cloudy.

*end of scene*

“That’s all I can remember,” Noah sighed, wringing his hands through each other repeatedly.

“Thank you, Noah. You’ve done really great. We’ll do everything we can for you, okay” the officer said kindly. The female one had been silent for most of the interview, having been taken down a few pegs by Noah, then presumably her partner later. The two of them got up from their seats, the elder nodding to Ben and Callum, before leaving the room. As soon as they did, Noah let out a sigh of relief.

“You did really well, buddy,” Callum said from the other side of the room, clutching Ben’s hand. Noah nodded his thanks, taking a deep breath. Before anyone else could speak, another doctor, one that Noah recognised to have been Will’s knocked at the door.

“You can see Will now, Noah. He’s awake.”

-

When Noah walked into the room, it felt like the breath had been squeezed from his lungs. Will was lying in a stark white bed in the centre of the room, hooked up to an IV and heart monitor, which beeped a steady beat, filling the silence of the room. The cuts on his face had been cleaned, but most of his left side was still bruised. His eyes were closed, but they flickered open as soon as Noah opened the door.

“We’ll wait outside a minute, yeah?” Callum said, smiling encouragingly at Noah. He nodded in response, before pushing the door closed and turning back to Will.

“Hey,” Will said, his voice hoarse. A small smile pushed onto his face, which came across a little more like a grimace, what with his injuries.

“Can I sit?” Noah said, gesturing to the chair on the opposite side of Will’s bed.

“You don’t have to ask,” Will replied. “How are you?”

Noah sighed, tiptoeing to the chair. Part of him felt so out of place here- guilt pulsed through his veins like fire. It was his fault they were here. If he hadn’t taunted that guy-

“Hey, You still with me?” Will said, reaching a hand out to squeeze Noah’s.

“This was all my fault,” Noah said suddenly. “I did this to you.”

“Noah-“

“You can’t just pretend like it wasn’t my fault, Will! If I hadn’t spoken to that guy, if I’d have just left it-“

“Noah listen to me,” the sudden strength in Will’s tone made Noah stop. “This wasn’t your fault. This was those guys’ fault, alright? You can’t blame yourself.”

Noah clutched onto Will’s hand like a lifeline. The boy was so painfully forgiving- always had been, ever since they’d met.

“How do we move on from this?” Noah whispered. He felt the telltale burn of tears filling his eyes.

Will sighed. “We have each other, no matter what. That’s the important thing”

Maybe he was right. Maybe it was enough right now, just to have Will’s warm hand clutched in his, a strong pulse in his fingertips. He’d fought so hard in his life, but the difference this time- he wasn’t alone.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry I've been a bit M.I.A of late- I've been dealing with some serious writer's block over the past couple of weeks, alongside the average stresses of life, but I've finally managed to get this one finished! hope you enjoyed this little look back into the Lego House universe.  
> Stay home, and stay safe!   
> Leo <3 (artsy-highway on tumblr)


End file.
